Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Bit of Humor

We are planning a marriage enrichment retreat (for real). I have been working on the curriculum. It occurred to me that I may be working from a man's perspective, so I asked my wife Yvonne for a list of suggested classes for men. The following is her submission:

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays -- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll -- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes -- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity -- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things -- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.

Class 8
Health Watch -- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost.
Real Life Testimonials.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

Class 11
Learning to Live -- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy -- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven -- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

1 comment:

Karl Laws said...

It is not genetically possible to remain quiet while she parallel parks. There I said it. I may pay a hefty price but I am telling you it can't be done.