Thursday, May 06, 2010

Advice for Husbands

Trust me, the following is a partial list of what many wives want and need. This list is not complete and your wife has specific needs. But, this may give you some valuable insight.

Lend a hand -- Frankly, what your wife wants (like a marriage proposal?) is you getting down on your hands and knees! Now, after the "I do's"- getting plain old down and dirty. Literally- sweaty and … scrubbing the grout in the bathroom. Man up when it comes to household duties; it pays off.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T -- Behave respectfully to your in-laws. It may be your opinion that they don't deserve it, but make no mistake: your wife does. Do it for her.

Hold her hand -- Often.

Work at your marriage -- "Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day." —Ann Landers

Confide your thoughts and feelings - carefully -- Sometimes when times are tough, you've got to talk to someone, anyone other than your wife, just to get perspective. But keep in mind that your friends are there to support you, not provide perspective, and don't say anything you can't take back once these troubles are behind you.

Surprise her -- Do something nice for your wife, with no provocation, no less than once a week. If you have to put it on your calendar, if you have to tattoo it on your forehead, make it happen. Your life will be longer and happier for it.

Don't write off counseling -- Everyone should be in marriage counseling because marriage is hard. If your car is having problems, you take it to a mechanic. Don't give up on a relationship you value without exploring every possible avenue for healing first.

Make time for your relationship -- Never underestimate the importance of closeness to each other in your marriage.

Apologize -- Be the first one to say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong," even when you're not sorry and you weren't wrong.

Give her a hug -- Hug her. We all love hugging- here, I'll say it: no doubt, your wife does.

Don't try to change her -- Every new young married thinks he or she can change their spouse. Every experienced husband wishes he could have back all the time and energy he spent trying to do so. Men, feel free to share this rule with your wife.

Fight fairly -- When you fight — and you will — fight fairly. The causes of a quarrel will fade from memory, but cruel words are remembered for years, as well as the lingering heartache.

Be open to change -- Yours; hers... While it is true that in our heart of hearts, people basically do not change, be aware of the truth that people do change in some ways, as years go by, and so do marriages. Be flexible.

Remind yourself why you love her -- Marriage is a choice you make every day, not just at the altar. Once in a while, it's important to remind yourself why you chose this woman, and why you still choose her. Then be sure your wife knows you remember.

The golden rule, adapted for marriage: Treat her right -- Put her above all others. It's not always possible, of course, but when you are able, make her your #1. That includes your parents, your children, and yourself.

[From Glamour magazine]

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