When Not to Sleep with Your Spouse

The marriage bed is a powerful symbol of wedded bliss. But according to a 2001 National Sleep Foundation (NSF) poll, 12 percent of married adults are sleeping in separate beds—in most cases just to get a good night's rest. Check out the following results from a 2004 survey that show how your bedmate's snoring, restlessness, and mattress hogging can negatively impact your sleep.

• Men who snore a few nights a week: 40%
• Women who snore a few nights a week: 31%
• Men who sleep less because of bedmate: 17%
• Women who sleep less because of bedmate: 30%

So what's the solution?

• Push twin beds together to make your spouse's movements less disruptive.
• Try sleeping together every other night. "We can all handle one night of poor sleep, but after two or three, we're in trouble," says Sheila Goss, a marriage and family therapist.
• Begin the night in the same bed, then separate and reunite for a morning cuddle. "There is no wrong sleeping arrangement as long as a couple maintains intimacy, even if it has to be scheduled," says Goss. "A 'you come to my bed Tuesday and Thursday, and I come to yours Monday and Wednesday' system can heighten expectations—and fun."

—Ladies' Home Journal (October 2004)