Saturday, February 20, 2010

A Marriage Prayer

Lord, help us remember when we first met and the strong Love that grew between us.

To work that Love into practical things so nothing can divide us.

We ask for words both kind and loving, and for hearts always ready to ask for forgiveness as well as to forgive.

Dear Lord, we put our marriage into your hands.

We pray this Marriage Prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, - AMEN.

[from Revitalize Your Church by Mark O. Wilson]

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Grief Support Group in Fort Payne

[Click on image to enlarge.]

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Is Distance Healthy in a Relationship?

The most powerful feelings of love seem to require distance. Love feels most poignant and exquisite when there is longing. Agree?

When people are in a solid, settled relationship, doesn’t the intensity of the love experience fade? And if so, why?

Art and literature are full of this same idea. How many more poems and stories and songs are written about longing and desire and painful, troubled love, as compared to those about contented, stress-free monogamy?

Is this because love is just so hard to get right?

Or is there something about the human psyche that often wants love to be hard? … something that wants and needs and creates that distance?

Freud thought that our heads contain all sorts of repressed urges and dark needs, which cause us to do harmful, self-defeating things. Looking at the choices people make in love and the painful relationships they often endure, it sure seems like Freud was right.

But I’ve learned to look for the underlying logic in the relationships people choose. I’ve come to believe that when there’s distance in a relationship, that distance isn’t an accident. The distance is serving some purpose.
  • Distance allows room for fantasy.
  • Distance protects privacy.
  • Distance makes it possible to indulge, at least temporarily, in a mismatched or otherwise futureless relationship.
  • Distance may feel safer; it may be an attempt at getting love without risking too much.
  • Distance may feel familiar; it may be what you’re used to.

Can you think of other purposes?