How Women Can Boost a Low Sex Drive

So what can a woman do about a decreasing sex drive? Is there help available that can really make a difference?

• Relationship counseling may be necessary. Sexual dysfunction is not a one way street; it takes two married individuals to contribute to a problem resulting in sexual distancing. Sometimes a couple is too afraid to discuss these matters and needs a therapist to help them break the ice to get sensitive issues out in the open.

• Changing medication or altering the dosage. Start reading labels and the written materials that accompany prescription drugs. If you read your medication can lower your libido, you may need to change prescriptions or try an alternative therapy. There are many clinics and physicians who are aware of alternative methods that can address decreased sex drive using non-traditional medications or supplements.

• Address medical conditions. If a medical condition is contributing to a low sexual drive, aggressively pursue treatment. Do not be passive about your condition hoping it will go away . . . especially with painful fibroids or other conditions that leave you in a condition of chronic pain or fatigue. Talk to your partner about how you feel so he does not take your low sex drive as an indication of loss of interest in him. Men need to understand the impact on a woman's body when it comes to such illnesses as Chronic Fatigue Sydrome. A man's support during a time of chronic health conditions can only deepen the bond that exists between the two.

• Vaginal estrogens. In postmenopausal women, certain vaginal conditions can be treated successfully with vaginal estrogen creams or estrogen patches.

• Testosterone therapy. Know that these hormone therapies have not all been approved by the FDA to treat sexual problems in women. If your doctor opposes these therapies, consult another physician who will recommend and monitor a testosterone therapy approach to restore levels to normal.

[From The John Tesh Blog by John Tesh]

Q&A

(Q) - It was recently discovered that my wife has had a 2 year physical affair with another woman (her best friend). We have 4 children and have been married for 16 years. During this 2 year period, my wife and I have had no intimacy. My wife wants to stay in the marriage, but what is the likelihood that she can go from a same sex relationship to an opposite sex relationship just because she was caught? Also, she wants to remain friends with this other woman (if I allow it), is it likely that she will revert to the physical relationship with the other woman again?

(A) - I’m sure this is a very difficult time as you struggle to sort things out. But I think you are asking the wrong questions. Your wife has had an affair and the two of you haven’t been intimate for two years. The gender of the lover doesn’t matter. What matters is that you and your wife have let yourselves get so far apart. Neither one of you has been dealing with the sad state of your marriage. Your wife broke her vows and had an affair. You let two years go by without confronting the problem.

With 4 children to think about, it’s important to at least see if you can repair things. Get yourselves to an experienced couples counselor and do the hard work you need to do. You and your wife once loved each other enough to marry and bring 4 babies into the world. There may be enough of a core commitment left to pull back from this mess. As for whether your wife should stay friends with her lover, ask yourself this: What would you do if the friend was male? My guess is that you wouldn’t think twice about asking her to choose.

I wish you well.

[Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker]