How To Develop Self-Control

Successful people have one obvious trait in common: personal discipline. They are willing to do things that average people are unwilling to do.

It’s my observation that successful people express their self-discipline in six ways:

· Successful people master their moods. They live by their commitments, not their emotions. They do the right thing, even when they don’t feel like it. “A person without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls” (Proverbs 25:28 NLT).

· Successful people watch their words. They put their minds in gear before opening their mouths: “Those who control their tongue will have a long life . . .” (Proverbs 13:3 NLT).

· Successful people restrain their reactions. How much can you take before you lose your cool? “People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs” (Proverbs 19:11 NLT).

· Successful people stick to their schedule. If you don’t determine how you will spend your time, you can be sure that others will decide for you! “So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil days” (Ephesians 5:15-16 NLT).

· Successful people manage their money. They learn to live on less than what they make, and they invest the difference. The value of a budget is that it tells your money where you want it to go rather than wondering where it went: “The wise have wealth and luxury, but fools spend whatever they get” (Proverbs 21:20 NLT).

· Successful people maintain their health. That way they can accomplish more and enjoy their achievements: “Control your body and live in holiness . . .” (1 Thessalonians 4:4 NLT).

Now, where do you need to develop self-control?

The disciplines you establish today will determine your success tomorrow. But it takes more than just willpower for lasting self-control. It takes a power greater than yourself. Think about this promise from the Bible: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).

The more I accept God’s control over my life, the more self-control he gives me!

[Rick Warren]

How To Prevent Burnout

According to a London Daily Mail poll, more than half of those reading this right now are completely burned out on the job. How can you tell if you're burned out?

If you have lost that satisfied feeling at work and don't even revel in your own job accomplishments, there might be a problem. Are your coworkers asking if everything is okay with you? Have they noticed you acting depressed or even moody on the job? Have you been snapping at everyone?

Here's a telltale sign of work burnout: the minute you return from a vacation, the joy, happiness, and relaxation you felt are instantly gone, and you can't even manage to come back from lunch on time.

Another sign: procrastination is your new middle name.Dr. Alan Shelton, author of Transforming Burnout, studies worker burnout. He notes that you shouldn't feel alone if you're feeling this particular burn. Some three-quarters of all workers are hit with this feeling from time to time.

According to Dr. Shelton, vacations, days off, new hours and outside interests don't always help.

Professional counselors can help, especially if you're a workaholic who is stressed out by a desire for everything to be perfect all of the time.

The important thing is to find balance between work and other pursuits. Then work isn't the only focus. Dr. Shelton also suggests the following:

• Get a physical to rule out more serious health problems.
• Take care of the spiritual side of life. It will give you focus. Meditation and prayer can help with burnout because they take the focus off work. Make relaxation a priority in your life.
• Remind yourself that each morning is a new day to be appreciated. On the way to work find two or three things that make you happy, even if it's just a beautiful forest preserve on the side of the road or watching your kids.
• Exercise helps beat job burnout.
• Sleep helps beat job burnout.

[Research by John Tesh]

Controling Your Anger

The first step is to recognize that your anger is a problem. There are healthy reactions to frustrating situations and there are unhealthy reactions. Throwing things, hitting walls and hurting yourself are examples of unhealthy or inappropriate reactions. These are inappropriate reactions for many reasons but mainly because none of these will help you solve your problem and only serve to make the situation worse.

It is important to ask yourself what good comes out of acting the way you did. Did it solve anything? Did it change the fact that your brother destroyed your room? Did your mother give back your cell phone? Or, did your behavior make the situation worse in that you helped to further destroy your room with your damage to the walls?

A better way to deal with anger is to try to remain calm and even-tempered in every situation. Ideally, one should strive to be emotionally neutral in most situations. This is easier said that done but with practice you can learn to not overreact. If it is not possible to talk calmly with family members about your issues, seek professional counseling. You can learn strategies for dealing with difficult or frustrating situations so that you do not resort to hitting walls or hurting yourself.

It is possible that no one has taught you or modeled for you how to deal with anger and this in turn makes it difficult for you to know how to act. You can learn to change and react more appropriately but you might need someone to teach you. Try asking your parents (when you are feeling calm and rational) to help you learn how not to overreact and if you cannot talk to them, ask the school counselor.